Black and White
by CaughtMySelfFalling
Summary: Entry for Forbidden Love Affair contest. Edward's life is black and white. Be the perfect everything, marry the perfect girl, have the perfect life. What happens when the gray in life shows up in the form of his soccer coach... Jasper Whitlock. E/J. OCC.


"**Forbidden Love Affair"**

**A Contest of Hidden Desires**

**Penname:** CaughtMySelfFalling

**Title of One-Shot:** Black and White

**Pairing:** Edward & Jasper

**POV:** Edward

**Rating:** M

**Theme: **Coach/player & Homosexuality

**Word Count:** 6,443

**Summary or Description: **Edward has every thing he could want: Star of the soccer team, most popular guy in school, best girlfriend ever. His life is black and white. When he goes to a soccer seminar the grey in life comes in the form of an encounter with his Coach.

"Fucking Fag!" I yelled as I planted another kick to the stomach.

I didn't put all my weight into it because I didn't really want to do permanent damage to the kid. He just needed to know what was up.

"If I ever see you so much as glimpse in my direction in the locker room I'm blind you asshole!"

Emmett and I kept kicking and punching Ray Zimmerman as he lay panting on the ground. After gym last period I saw him looking at me when I was stripped down to just my boxer briefs, which was just nasty. Everyone knew Ray was a homo. He was that kid in a small town who did all the musicals and plays, sang in the chorus, wore designer clothes everyday and was every girl's best friend but never dated anyone. I had never interacted with him much during our years in the same town but I knew we were headed for trouble when we had the same gym class this semester.

"Cullen, McCarthy! What the HELL are you two doing?"

Both our heads shot up to Coach Miller jogging over to us.

"Coach he was checking me out when I was changing."

I knew we weren't in that much trouble because Coach Miller just happened to coach the soccer team that Emmett and I both starred in.

Miller bent down and examined Ray as me and Emmett took a few steps back towards the building.

"You guys really did a number on him. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to send you to. Principle Mix." He looked regretful at having to potentially get us in trouble but I knew that he was just doing in case Zimmerman made a complaint, I would be much easier if we pretended for at least a little while that we were going to get in trouble.

We were sitting in front of Mix before we could even blink and he was looking at all three of us pensively. Coach had filled him in on what he saw and I knew Mix was thinking very hard about how to get us out of this unscathed.

"So what I gather from Coach Miller is that you fell Ray." He looked at the bloody boy sitting next to me with hard eyes.

I turned to look at Ray and his eyes were wide with confusion. He blinked a few times before turning to me and then back to Mix before casting his gaze back to his lap.

"Yes sir." He said with a timid voice.

_Good boy._ I thought as a smirk came to my lips. This was really the best possible out come for all involved. It was two weeks into the season and we still had our biggest competition to play and I knew that Mix wanted Emmett and me on the field just as much if not more then we wanted to be there. Plus Ray knew the consequences for messing with us. We were the most popular guys in the whole town; we could make everyday of his high school life miserable. He knew it was best to just keep his head down and stay out of the way until he graduated and became a fucking professional drag queen or what ever he wanted to be.

After we had everything all 'cleared up'. Mix dismissed a limping Ray so that he could ask me and Emmett about the up coming game against the third seated team in the district. After reassuring him we were going to wipe the floor with them he dismissed us with a smile. He loved that our soccer team was so good and gained a lot of the attention; hence our ability to get caught red handed beating a kid down and walk away free.

As we made our way out to the hallway I almost literally ran into Bella.

"Hey, what were you doing in the office?" She asked confused.

Just then Ray came shuffling out of the nurse's office down the hall and our eyes met. I looked at him with narrowed eyes as if to say 'don't say a word to anyone' and he just dropped his gaze to the floor and walked in the other direction.

"What was that about?" Bella was still confused; as per usual.

"Ray fell out behind the gym and when we tried to help him he told Miller we tried to beat him or something." I knew she would be mad at the real reason so I had to make something up.

"Oh my! Is he ok? Did Mix believe him? Are you in trouble?" Leave it to Bella to be worried about him after I just told her he tried to get me in trouble, she was always so forgiving and caring.

"Once we got him in front of Mix he recanted and all was forgiven."

"Well that's good; you wouldn't want to miss your seminar next week."

"The only thing I'm going to be missing next week is you when I'm at Seattle U showing all the rest of those pussies how to kick a ball." I said as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed those perfect red lips.

I loved Bella more then anything in the world. She was my soul mate and I knew that. We had been together ever since she had transferred freshmen year and, once my sister Alice had taken over her wardrobe and Emmett's girlfriend Rosalie had convinced her to join the cheerleading squad, she was perfect and therefore perfect for me. We went together seamlessly. My family loved her and her Dad liked me, even though he caught me going down on her one time after school when we thought he wasn't home.

I had to admit though she was pretty naive about things. Accepting the story I had just fed her was not a new occurrence. She took my word for face value on everything. Like when I told her Emmett and I were having boys' night at a pool hall when we were really hooking up with college chicks at the state school a few miles away. I didn't feel bad about lying to her about that one because I didn't see what I did as cheating. I didn't love or even like these girls, there were just things that I wanted to do that I would never do with Bella. It's just wrong to sick your dick in the ass of the future mother of your children. So I found other women to do if to. I was careful and always came home so I didn't see what the big deal was.

I knew Bella was it for me. I knew how our future would play out. I would propose soon, and then we would get married after undergrad and start a family after med school. It was exactly like my parents lives had played out and I knew Bella and I would be happy forever just like they are. I just needed to sow my wild oats in a way. I had no problem with the future as it was laid out for me. I knew when the time came I would commit to Bella forever and that would be that.

I believe that life is kinda black and white. There's right and wrong. I didn't emotionally cheat on Bella with these women it was just a physical need that had to be addressed so I addressed it. It was like getting my teeth cleaned. Bella didn't know the first thing about dentistry so I went to someone who did. So what I did wasn't wrong.

Ray on the other hand was just all wrong. Two men together are just disgusting; hairy, hard bodies up against each other… ew. Two chicks together I could get. Women we meant to be sexually appealing by nature, so another woman succumbing to that is just nature taking its course; Darwinism if you will. But two dudes is just fucked up. I have enough cock for any sexual encounter I don't need to be adding more. In my eyes they were the black in the black and white of my life, just wrong.

Before I knew it I was driving to a week long soccer seminar being offered at Seattle U. It was a very coveted seminar that we were granted one week off school to attend. It was very selective and only allowed the very best of the best to come. Being the top scorer in the state it wasn't hard for me to snag a spot. Emmett was a top ranking goalie so he was sitting right next to me. One week of drills and exercises to make us all better athletes. This wasn't really why any of us came though; we were all in perfect shape and at the peak of our game. We were here for two reasons; one to show up everyone else and two to show off for college scouts who frequented things like these. I had my heart set on Dartmouth which had been ranked number one for the last five years. I had even convinced Bella out of going to Stanford and come with me. Dartmouth was my goal and I knew they would be there.

We made it to the motel where we would be staying and checked in. We only had enough time to get into the room and change before he had to head over to the field on campus. We were the first two there, as planned, and decided to kick the ball around before everyone showed up. After ten minutes ever that I assumed was coming was there and we were all showing off doing ball tricks or just sitting around talking. Everyone went quiet when a golf cart started to come into view. How college cliché, sports coach in a golf cart, revenge of the nerds much?

We all sat down as the coach got out of the cart and made his way over to us. As soon as he was close enough to get a good look at I knew who he was; Jasper Whitlock. Everyone on the soccer circuit knew Jasper Whitlock. He had the most promising soccer career a few years ago, we're talking David Beckham status, until a goalie took him our going after the ball and he blew his knee. I always felt bad for him, I don't know what I would do if one day I just couldn't play soccer anymore. I was pleasantly surprised to find that he had apparently taken the head coaches job here at SU. It was really quite an accomplishment actually. He had gotten injured his senior year of college and that was three years ago so he had to be like 24ish. And being a head coach at a major university at 24 is saying something.

He gave a welcoming speech then went right into how this whole camp thing would work. I could tell from his tighter fitting close that he had a defined body. I wasn't lusting over it or anything I just knew a worked on body when I saw one. I was surprised at his long hair though. It was blond and wavy and came down to about his chin. Most soccer players kept is short for functional purposes. I also noticed his striking facial features and concluded that he probably had about as much trouble with the ladies as I did.

After his little speech we warmed up and started on drills. About two hours in we were working on shots to the corner and I knew I had it made. Putting it right in the left top corner was my shot. I could make it all day, everyday. After three rounds of perfection on my part coach Whitlock called me over.

"What's up coach?"

He looked at me speculatively for a second. "You're Edward Cullen? From Forks High?" I nodded. "I've heard a lot about you." I smiled and nodded again. "I just wanted to tell you that you'd have more control if you twist your shoulders into it as you moved."

My mouth dropped. _ Twist my shoulders more?_ He must have been blind. Every shot I took was perfectly on point, I didn't need more control. I, of course, couldn't say this to him though because he's Coach Jasper Whitlock and I am lowly high school senior from nameless small town Washington.

So I just nodded one more time. "Thanks coach." He nodded in return and I head back to get in line to take another shot.

Out of his mind 'I need more control'. I bitched in my head. He knew who I was and he still felt the need to criticize me. What a dick. Good thing none of the scouts were here or I would have been really pissed at having been called out like that in front of them.

I tried not to let what he said put set me to the point of ruining my game so I just pushed it out of my head for now. I could always take it out on a punching bag or some faceless pussy later.

Shortly after I had 'centered my chi' we moved on to practice a roll and scissor dibbling move, again something that I was primo at so I wasn't worried. After my first try Coach Whitlock called me over again.

"Cullen you read like a book. I could tell you were going to make your move like an hour before you were going to make it. This exercise is supposed to be about faking out your defender not walking up to him and saying 'Take the ball from me please'".

Fucking seriously? But again all I could say was "Thanks Coach." And walk away.

Now I'm really steamed. Who the fuck does he think he is? Doesn't he know who I am? He's only called out a few kids by name to give them pointers but none of them twice. He was making me look bad. The last thing I needed was for these other morons thinking that what they had heard about me was all hype; that I really just sucked. From here on in I'm giving only perfection; nothing less. I would make sure Coach Whitlock had nothing to comment on again.

No such luck. Everything I did for the rest of the day he picked apart; always a comment about something. Even at the end when he decided to make us do suicides I made my already exhausted body all out sprint every time.

"Cullen, are you so interesting in being the first back every that you'll kill your self sprinting?" I groaned. Nothing was ever good enough for this guy. "How 'bout we give Mr. Cullen here five more opportunities to come in first place." He yelled so that all could hear him. A collective groan overtook my ears as most of the other players shot me hateful looks; even Emmett.

By the time we got back to the motel room I was on the point of a coma. I had never worked so hard in my life. I figured all these days would be a cake walk and had even planned on maybe going out drinking a few nights while I was in the city. But that was totally not an option at this moment. I swear I wouldn't have even showered if Emmett hadn't threatened to throw a bottle of bleach on my 'smelly ass'. After the shower I feel into my bed again and closed my eyes willing sleep to over take me.

"Dude what are you doing? I thought we were going to check out the trim this campus has to offer."

"I don't think I have the energy to even get it up if I wanted to so that is completely pointless."

"Come on. This I was just the first day. It's only going to get harder. If we want to go out we needed to do it tonight. You can't be that tiered."

"Emmett have you ever seen me back out of a party?" He shook his head. "Then why don't you believe me this once that I am too tiered to go?"

"I've never seen you tiered out. Even after a game where you play every minute you still seem like you could run a marathon after ward."

"I know but shit, Whitlock was like riding my ass all day. Did you see how he picked me out ever fucking time?"

"Yeah it was kinda weird. Looks like the world is coming to realize what I already know." I raised my eyebrows inquisitively. "You suck at soccer."

I rolled my eyes and laid my head back on my pillow as I flipped him the bird. I was not in the mood for his shit right now.

The next two days followed much like the first and I don't think I could get more pissed. I am a reasonable person. I can take constructive criticism but that was not what Whitlock was doing at all. He was up my ass for the simple fact of being up my ass. Nothing was saying was actually helping me. It was stuff I already knew he was just being a dick. It pissed me off even more to see all these other fools running around the field that were so much worse off then me. They actually needed the help, not me.

At the last water break of the day I decided to go see Whitlock myself to see what his deal was. I couldn't take it anymore. He was going to give me answers or I was just to pack my shit and leave this pathetic excuse for a soccer seminar.

I went home after practice and was just as tiered as I had been the last few days. I was running on pure desire for answers. I took a quick shower, threw on some cargo shorts and a white polo and headed out the door. It didn't take me long before I was standing at his office door.

What was I doing? Why was I allowing this man to wind me up like this? I needed answers but as I stood at his door I was loosing nerve. What if I walked in there demanding a reason and he told me I was a shit soccer player? I had never been self conscience of my abilities until now. This man used to be one of the best players on the planet; maybe he really thought I was no good.

As I was talking myself down I was surprised when the door swung open and revealed my antagonist.

"Mr. Cullen? To what do I owe the pleasure?" He said with a cocky smirk.

With that I regained my nerve and was pissed off again. "I need to speak with you Coach Whitlock."

He nodded and stepped aside for me to answer closing the door behind me. He gestured for me to take the seat in front of his desk but I just stood where I was. He shrugged and leaned against his desk.

"What can I do for you Mr. Cullen?"

"I want a fucking explanation as to why you are always on my ass for no good fucking reason."

He just raised his eyebrows at me. "I don't know what you mean."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm better then every other guy out there and you are always giving me shit. I want to know why. Why are you always saying things to me and making me feel an inch tall?"

"My job is to help you kids." The way he said kids just made me feel even smaller.

"I'm not a kid. I'm 18 years old and I know that I am a good soccer player."

"18?" _What did that have to do with anything?_ "Well Mr. Cullen I know that you're good. I'm just trying to see how good." He raised his eyebrows again.

"That's bullshit! You never rag on anyone else. Why?"

"Do you live with your biological father Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes. But what does that…"

"I didn't when I was a kid. My dad hit the bricks when I was two and I never saw him again. And when I was six my mother remarried an army man. He was a hard ass. Everything had to be perfect. Me, my mother, his dinner, even my bed. I hated him for it. He never lightened up."

"Coach I don't understand…"

"Then when I was nine I signed up for soccer because all of my friends were. He told me that he would pull me off the team in a second if he thought I wasn't giving 110% every time. He thought my coach was incompetent so after every practice he would make me work until it was dark. You'd think it would just drive me to quit. Knowing that I would never measure up but it didn't; it did the opposite. I worked harder then I ever had at anything and got really good. I started playing in the under 16 league when I was 12 and was on varsity when I was in the 8th grade. From then on it was all about soccer. Do you know what that taught me?"

I was so confused by his telling me this story the only answer I could give was a shake of the head.

"It taught me that the best person to push you is a person you hate. You hate me don't you Edward?" It was the first time he had used my first name.

"No."

He chuckled. "I guess I need to push you harder." He stood up and took a step closer to me as I narrowed my eyes at him. "To be honest I am very impressed with you." He took another step closer to me which, in this small office, placed him directly in front of me. His eyes raked down my body and he smirked. "Yes very impressed."

I don't know what happened but with his eyes on my like that sparked something in me. It was a weird feeling I had never felt before. We were quiet for a few moments as I tried to place this feeling. The closest I could come was… lust?

No that couldn't be right he was a guy. I'm not a fag. I don't desire other men. Even if they do have perfect blonde hair and sky blue eyes that make my mouth water up close. _What am I saying? I'm not gay!_

I was immobilized by shock as he leaned in closer so that his lips were so close to me ear that I could feel his hot breath.

"Like I said Mr. Cullen I'd like to see just how good you are."

My body took over of its own accord. My palms started sweat and my breathing became heavy. What the fuck was happening? My mind was in a whirl as I felt him run his nose over the edge of my ear and then bring his lips to the soft skin underneath. I closed my eyes as I tried to figure out what was happening.

"Would you like that Mr. Cullen, for me to help you find out how good you can be?"

My traitorous tongue spoke foreign words. "Yes." I spoke in a whisper.

He kissed along my jaw and the side of my lips while I still refused to move. Everything was still for a moment so I opened my eyes. He was looking at me with dark eyes of want. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. A smirk graced his face before his hand grabbed the back of my neck and he slammed his lips to mine.

I had kissed hard many times but in the first millisecond his lips were on mine I felt my whole body burst into flames. What was going on? I was kissing a guy and enjoying it. This isn't right. This is black, so black. I brought my hand up to push his shoulders but he just tightened his grip on my neck and didn't release my lips. I pushed again but this time a little lighter. My resolve was waning. I wanted this. Deep down, somewhere inside me that I didn't know about wanted this. My hands slowly drifted from his shoulders around his back. I grabbed onto his shirt and tried to pull him away at the same time as push him closer. As I did our lips started to move together. I had kissed hundreds of girls but never like this. This was hard and forceful; nothing gentle about it. We were yielding to our desires.

The kiss got more and more heated and before I knew it I was being pressed up against the door. His hands roamed my body as his tongue sought entry to my mouth. I moaned as I parted my lips and he quickly entered. I allowed him to explore before starting a battle with my own tongue. This time it was his turn to moan. He pressed his lower half into me and I could feel his hardness through the layers of close. My eyes shot open when I realized that I was as hard as he was. _What the fuck._

I took him by surprise and pushed him away. He stumbled back a few steps before and we both attempted to regulate our breathing.

"What was that?" He didn't answer just looked at me. I asked the seemingly obvious question. "Are you gay?" He chuckled and looked at the floor.

Jasper Whitlock of former North Caroline U fame is a homo. That would be like Bella finding out Jane Austin muff dived. Bella. My girlfriend. My future wife. I straight. I like women. What was going on?

"Edward I'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want to do." He brought his eyes back to mine. "But it seemed like you wanted it." He nodded toward my tented shorts.

Think of something, anything. "We can't do this. This is wrong." _Right, there you do. _"You're my coach." _Not exactly what I had initially meant by wrong but I'll go with it._

"You're right. So if this happens we can't tell anyone or I could loose my job and potentially the ability to work at what I love anywhere."

He still thought this was going to happen. I was still confused as to what 'this' was.

"Can I ask you something Edward?" I nodded. "Did you like it?"

What a loaded question. He knew that physically I was turned on by him. He was testing me too see if I would allow myself to give in to it. We were both silent for a minute as I thought. Was I turned on by him? Yes. Was there part of me that wanted to see where this would go? Yes.

"Fuck it." I said as I closed the distance between us and captured his lips with mine.

He brought his hands up to cup my face as mine went to his lower back to bring him closer. Our lip lock deepened and we fought for dominance. I needed to win. I needed to be in control of this. I needed him to allow me to be in control. As if he was reading my mind he submitted to. I walked him backwards until he was pressed against his desk. I pressed into him so that he was arched back over his desk slightly. He moaned into my mouth as my dick twitched in my pants.

I decided then and there that if I was going to do this I was going to do this all out so I brought my hands to the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. I took in the sight of him shirtless with amazement. It was obvious that he still took care of his body. His chest and abs were chiseled and he had a defined V that lead into his khakis. I was so absorbed in admiring his body that I didn't notice him pulling my shirt up until it became necessary for me to lift my arms. Once it was removed I felt the need to have my lips on his gorgeous chest.

I kissed right between pecks as his hands move to my hair tugging gently. He tasted so good. Not sweet like a woman but almost musky like a man. The smell and taste of him were making my already hard erection almost painful. I moved my lips along his to his nipple where I ran the hardened tip of my tongue over it. He took in a sharp breath and tightened his hold on my hair. Encouraged by his response I decided to go further and move my hands to his sides, running them up and down lightly.

"Edward." He moaned out.

I must have been doing something right to get such a reaction so I pushed further. I moved my hands over his six pack. When I came to the top of his pants I traced the edge with my finger. All the while moving attention between both of his hardened nipples.

"God! Please!" He begged.

"You have to tell me what you want."

"Touch me."

I smiled. I was driving this man crazy and it made me that much more horny.

I pushed every thought out of my head that wasn't in the here and now. I didn't think about Bella or what this all meant. I just felt.

I moved my hands to the button on his pants and made quick work of it and the zipper. I pushed them down leaving him in his boxers. In a needed to change angles I brought my lips back up to his in a blazing kiss. He kissed me back so hard that I knew how much he needed this. I pulled back the waste band of his boxers with my left had as my right slipped between him and the fabric. Not wanting to beat around the bush so to speak I grabbed a hold of him roughly and he let out a small yelp but didn't protest.

I marveled in the softness of him. I had touched my own penis many times but never really realized just out delicate the skin felt. He was like velvet in my hand. I started to work him up and down at a slow pace. He removed his hands from my hair and pushed his boxers down so that he was fully exposed before bring his hands back to my bronze tresses. I used the new access to my advantage and brought my left hand down to massage his sac. He broke our kiss to let his head fall back and moan in pleasure. I allowed my lips so assault his neck as my hand started to pump faster.

For the next few minutes the only sounds that were made were from me working him over and his moaning responses. I felt pride in being able to do this to him and that pride only fueled my lust. From the sounds of his breathing I knew he was getting close and I got a little scared. Did he want to cum in my hand or was I did he expect to me take him in my mouth and swallow. I defiantly knew that I wasn't going to do the second so I settled on the first as the most appealing option.

His hands moved down from my hair and over my bare chest before he palmed be through my shorts. I was so sensitive at this point that that little touch made me hiss in pleasure. He rubbed me a few times before his hands wrapped around mine ceasing my motion. I looked at him in confusion.

"I want…"

"What is it? Just tell me. Don't get shy on me know."

He smile at me and leaned in for a sweet kiss. He then moved his head around mine so that he could speak directly in my ear.

"I want you inside me baby."

I pulled back in shock. "I've never…"

He put a finger over my lips to stop me.

"Obviously. But I promise I'll show you. Trust me." He asked with hopeful eyes.

I had already gone this far, why not. It's not like I hadn't done anal before.

I nodded and he smiled up at me. He stood straight up causing me to take a step back as he toed off his shoes and stepped out of his pants and boxers. I was trying to come to grips with what was about to happen while he walked around his desk grabbed his keys and unlocked on of his drawers. I peeked over curiously and saw that he had retrieved a condom and what I assumed was lube. Came back around the desk and set both items down before turning to me.

With his now seemingly trade make he stood in front of me and brought his hands to my shorts. With skill obvious of experience he had the button undone and the zipper down in no time flat. In one swift motion he pulled them and my boxer briefs down to my ankles were I kicked off my flip flops and stepped out of clothes. He turned back around to the desk and grabbed the condom. Tearing it open with his teeth and pulled out the latex circle. Continuing with his expert skill he rolled it securely on me. He turned back around and grabbed the lube. Dispensing a generous amount he applied it to my condom covered dick. I knew what had to come next so before he could retrieve more lube I stopped him and took the bottle.

"Let me."

He nodded and turned around spreading his legs and putting his hands on the desk. I took a deep breath and squirted some lube on my fingers. I walked up behind him and rand my slick fingers over his hole. Making sure it was covered enough I inserted on finger and worked it in and out slowly. I had learned a while ago that when doing this it is best to prepare as much as possible, especially when dealing with as much as I had to offer so I inserted a second finger. After I felt he was amply prepared I removed my fingers and stood behind him grabbing his hips.

He must have taken my moment of hesitation negatively because he turned his head to look at me.

"Are you sure?" He asked sweetly.

I leaned in to kiss his soft lips.

"Absolutely."

And with that I grabbed my rock hard cock moved to his entrance. I slowly pushed the head in, marveling at how tight he was. I was not going to last long. I continued my slow movements until I was fully in side him. He felt so good it was hard to stay still but I knew I had to. Luckily after a few minutes he pushed back slightly and I knew that was all the prompting I needed.

I pulled back marginally before pushing back in. Slow and steady. It felt so good. Not like my past experiences with woman. Better. He had me so worked up before we had even gotten this far that this climb toward release was heavenly.

I held on to his hips tight as my speed picked up; all the while letting out animalistic grunts that were mirror by my partner.

"God you feel so good baby. Harder." His voice was husky and dripping with arousal.

I obliged and pounded into him harder. I could hear the desk starting to absorb my force and it simply spurred me on. He fell forward to rest his head on his forearm. This new angle felt fucking great and I started to move more frantically. I was so close that my senses were in a whirl wind. I vaguely saw him grab the lube from the desk and apply some to his hand. I was confused until I saw him reach down and start to stroke himself. FUCK. That was hot. I couldn't take it any longer I need to release now. I bent over slightly and brought my hands to his shoulders to give a few lasts powerful thrust before burying myself deep in side him and cuming into the condom. I fell forward onto his back nestling my face between his shoulder blades. After a few steadying breaths I realized that he was still trying to get himself off.

I reached around him and placed my hand over his. He stopped and groaned as he removed his hand and mine replaced his frantic pace. Still inside him I started moving my hips into him so that his cock would thrust into my hand.

"Edward! Right there. Just like that. Almost…"

He took a few labored breaths and then his whole body tensed. A few spurts of hot white liquid shot from him onto the font of his desk accompanied by a string of profanities from his mouth. It felt so empowering to get this reaction from him. I never thought that driving another man to orgasm could be so rewarding but in that moment I felt like a sex god.

I pulled out of him but still kept my face on his back. We stayed still for a minute while he came back down to earth. I felt him reach his hand around to stroke my hair affectionately.

"Thank you beautiful."

"Mmm." Was all I could respond with.

This man had given me a lot of things to think about. I had just fucked a guy and enjoyed it. I didn't know what that meant in the grand scheme of things. This wasn't the best orgasm that I had ever had. It was up there as one of the best but not THE best. I tried to focus on thoughts of Bella. I thought of her naked and writhing underneath me. Yep that thought was still sexy as hell and I could feel myself getting harder. I felt like nothing had changed just that a new experience had been opened up for me. The more I thought about it the more it became clear…

Maybe life isn't as black and white as I thought.

**A/N: So anyone who knows me knows that I don't believe in defining sexual preference. I don't believe that ANYONE is completely straight or completely gay. So that is kind of what this story is about; Edward coming to terms with the fact that life isn't as black and white (or gay and straight, if you will) as he thought. So I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think.**


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